REAL AS IT GETS

Today I saw a woman,a real woman with original eyebrows...I had missed this feeling.The last time I saw such a breathe taking scene Raila Odinga was still Prime minister and Free Education was a pipe dream
She looked like a creature from a far off land,some pre-historic human being(in a good way) she looked like she was still evolving and like she was rushing to her cave in Roysambu after a field day in hunting and gathering in the Karura forest,

She looked like she was uncomfortable in the pencil skirt she was wearing and she couldn't wait to put on the hide of a dikdik that she killed two weeks ago and which she has dried in the sun for as much time.

She didn't love the cologne she was wearing,this I saw in her grin,she really wanted to rub aloe vera on her skin and jojoba and chamomile and petals of hibiscus.
She wanted to remove her 24 inch high heels because who goes for hunting in high heels?who fam?who? She looked dazed that there are people only showed the crevices of their chests,she looked like she would walk in town bare chested because it is 1763 and bare chest is the thing.

Miss real eyebrows probably had a stone in her small sling bag,this is a weapon should she meet an elephant,straying in her neck of the woods,and then proceed to strangle it with her bare hands.
Her freekin' bare hands fam.

She was mascular,had facial hair that can only be challenged by those on pigmies' faces in the nearby Congo forest(it is 1763,you can just walk from Roysambu to Congo forest and feel nothing)

Her muscles were the size of a full grown chimpanzee,complete with chest hair to shield her from the cold when she finaly removes her crop top.
Her hair was the size of those Brazilians..only that it was the closest thing you can get to hair-human real hair.
Her jaws were elongetad probably because she cuts roots of the Mugomo tree using her teeth.the Mugomo tree roots are a libido enhancement for her lazy ass husband.

Her nails were unkempt,long and dirty-because it is 1726BC and we are waiting for Isaac Newton to discover gravity in the next 600 years so that we can build on this knowledge to invent a nail clipper.

Her feet? never mind.

Her breathe?something that could light a fire if exposed to electricity or petrol or diesel or anything..something lethal.

Her knee caps were the size of cold stone bowls.But because it is 1726 and we don't know icecream,that comparison is a hoax,So were her elbows like she has used them to pin an entire pride of lions down..

She was not carryig a phone(phones have not even been thought of..it is 1726BC-bloody 1726)

When she wanted to send a whatsApp message to her girlfriends in Guantanamo Bay Cuba,she picked up two dry sticks rubbed them hard and lit a fire with the dry leaves just beneathe..the smoke said it all.it delivered the message,complete with emojis and the signation

"xoxo I luv u galfwend"-like all abnormal girls write

Then the the recipient in Guantanamo bay Cuba,sent a smoke-sorry a message back

"Heey,imagine, there is this guy from China(insert that emoji with love hearts in the eyes)he has just walked all the way,imagine he likes me and he just killed an elephant with as stick..aki I like him.."

"aaaaaw, for real?ebu send me his pic" (insert that emoji with covered eyes is it a monkey or what?)and endless bouts of smokes.They probably burnt down an entire forest because the chat went well into the devil's hours..

What I am trying to say is,today I saw a woman with real eyebrows.And because guys here might catch feelings...I leave it at that.
Real eyebrows.If you see a woman that has walked from Kenyatta avenue Nakuru to Roysambu,wearing the hide of a dikdik and carrying a small sling bag with stones and has real eyebrows, that is her...blow a horn and send her this message:

"xoxo...I luv U galfwend(tihhihihi) "